Two Cents

I've been around the store about eight times

Just looking for the right thing to eat

And I found it back in isle six

The lettuce on the counter was just so tempting

Then the clerk came up to me and says he's got a little problem with this

So I kicked him in his face that day

And I tied up his balls for some real amusement

I want some lettuce

Lettuce for me everyday

And I am great

Rasputin I hate

So I was walking down the street one night to find something unusual

A monkey on the side of the road

He was naked, eating an apple and pie

I picked him up and shoved him straight down four feet into the depths of my ass

And then I think I started to cry

And I think he jumped out and soon a Nazi flew by

Then late last night I saw the lover of the Russian Queen walk by my shack

I let him in to have a few drinks

And then I cut off his arms, legs and his head

He said, please, haggis do not kill me I have a nation to lead

And I said I don't wanna hear your pleads

I just wanna blow your ****ing head off